


lethargy got a hold of me (and i don't know how to shake it)

by cascrane (thunder_and_stars)



Series: a dream deferred [9]
Category: no sleep in the city of dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28721394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunder_and_stars/pseuds/cascrane
Summary: key is so tired.he doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s slept. nightmares and twisted dreams plague him when he closes his eyes. as he walks, the world feels like it’s falling away under his feet.
Series: a dream deferred [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105190





	lethargy got a hold of me (and i don't know how to shake it)

key is so tired.

he doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s slept. nightmares and twisted dreams plague him when he closes his eyes. as he walks, the world feels like it’s falling away under his feet.

it rained last night. puddles still dot the streets. 

he peers over the edge of one as he approaches it. stars swirl in inky darkness, blue and purple and pink and black and utterly unreal. the moon twists and shimmers.

wasn’t it day?

something whispers to him from within. he takes a step forward, dirty sneaker splashing through the center of the puddle. ripples curl out from his foot. 

it’s not real. he’s just tired.

key rubs at his eyes.

the puddle ripples peacefully, still dark and swirling and shining. the city around him feels different. a chill creeps across the back of his neck despite the warmth of early fall, despite the hoodie he wears.

he should be in college. (should he?)

if key was a normal kid, he would be in college. if key was  _ real _ , he would be in college. if key wasn’t a scrawny runaway kid in a hoodie and with a plastered on smile and a quiet aura of dreams and unreality. 

but this is where key is. this is who he is. he is magic and wonder and shifting, whispering whimsy. he is an asperne, now.

key doesn’t go to college. he doesn’t leave the city. he’s made for magic.

he protects his home.

is this where he is meant to be? is this who he is meant to be?

key trips over a raised edge of the crack in the sidewalk. his head hurts. his throat burns. he’s going somewhere, isn’t he?

where is he going?

he can’t remember. there’s a tree next to him on one side of the sidewalk, a small brick building on the other side. 

he keeps walking.

something strange is happening. key is lost. he’s tired. nothing feels real. he doesn’t remember when things felt real.

“key?”

someone is in front of him, hands catching his shoulders. 

“everything okay?”

key blinks, rubs at his eyes again, lifts his head. his neck aches, stiff and uncomfortable, like falling asleep on the couch.

“jeez, man, when was the last time you slept?” el is standing in front of him.

el looks tired and annoyed, but he always looks like that. 

“seriously, are you okay? you kind of look like you’re dying,” el says.

“you really have the best compliments,” key mutters, straightening his spine and shaking el’s hands off. “why are you here?”

“you weren’t at the corner. i thought you overslept or something,” el says.

right. he was supposed to be meeting el. they were supposed to be going on patrol? no, they were going to the park. maze was out in queens to see his parents. 

key blinks again, turns, looks at his surroundings. they’re only about a block away from newtown bagels, the shop owned by raven and nicky, his family. the subway isn’t far. he was supposed to meet el on the subway corner.

“sorry,” key mutters. “lost track of time.”

it’s almost not a lie. he almost doesn’t feel bad about it. but he can’t tell el the real reason. he can’t show el the grey veins that trace strange patterns across his skin, burning and shifting when he looks away. he can’t explain that he’s late because he was trying to get rid of the lines, then gave up and had to find a rune to cover them.

he can’t tell anyone that he had to look through his old journals to find the rune even though it should have come to him so easily, or that he hasn’t been able to do magic right since he was fixing the hub with hollis, or that when he does spells the patterns grow and some little deep part of him saps away. he can’t explain that the world feels like a dream, or that he hasn’t slept in days because it’s the only way to escape the things he sees.

“okay,” el says carefully, still eyeing key like he’s crazy. key feels crazy. he’s afraid that if he sleeps, he won’t wake up. he’s afraid that if he dreams, then when the dream is gone, nobody will even be there.

he’s afraid he’s still asleep right now, that he’s always asleep, that nothing is real and he just can’t wake up.

but he can’t say any of it. (he can’t risk losing everything he cares about.)


End file.
